Conversation starters

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6 Tips For Dating While You’re Unemployed



When you're unemployed, one of your biggest fears is being judged by others. When it comes to dating, that fear can be amplified.

The number one question asked when meeting someone new is, “What do you do for a living?" For many people who are out of work, that simple question can feel like a kick to the stomach.

Don't let unemployment shake your confidence. Here are a few tips for handling the awkward “I'm actually unemployed" talk so you can keep dating while you're unemployed:

1. Discover What You're Passionate About


Unemployed man and woman on a lunch date

Being single during a career transition can be an exciting experience, according to Adam LoDolce, a Boston-based dating coach for both men and women. "Dating is the perfect time to redefine yourself," he says. According to LoDolce, it's extremely important to discover what you're really passionate about during this transitional period. "We put so much emphasis on having a good job," says LoDolce. "You need to realize that, even if you have a good job, it's not automatically going to get you the girl or the guy."

Incorporating passion and excitement into your conversation is key during a career transition. By changing your perspective, you can control how people view your situation.

2. Avoid Conversation Killers


Woman avoids talking about being unemployed on a coffee date

There are three common questions that come up when you're getting to know someone new. They are:

  • What do you do for a living?
  • How old are you?
  • Where are you from?

These questions are major conversation killers, according to LoDolce. "It's boring conversation," he says. "If you're unemployed, work on deflecting these questions and making fun conversation. Have fun."

So, what do you ask instead? Here are a few conversation starters to try:

  • What's your dream job?
  • What are your hobbies?
  • What are some places you'd like to visit?

3. Focus On Your Passions


Man and woman on a date talk about work passions

"Stop focusing on what people do for a living and focus on what they're passionate about instead," says LoDolce. Although some people are lucky enough to have a job they are passionate about, many people out there aren't doing what they love for a living.

Talking about your passions will not only help someone get to know you, but it will also be more interesting for both parties involved.

4. Be Positive


Man stays positive about being unemployed on a date

"Being honest about your unemployment is the best approach to communicating with a new guy [or girl]," says dating expert Marni Battista. That doesn't mean you have to be negative about it, though. Battista suggests putting a positive spin on your situation. For instance, rather than talking about how the economy is killing your industry, or how hiring folks just don't "get you," focus on what's working.

Here's an example: "I love being a teacher, and am confident that my expertise in integrating technology into the classroom is going to land me an amazing position. All the interviews are great opportunities to practice and discover what the marketplace is looking for."

"When you cast blame on life's circumstances, it leaks a 'Debbie Downer' energy to your date and he [or she] will be more turned off by your negativity rather than the fact that you are unemployed," says Battista.

5. Don't Be Too Serious


Two men on a date talking about work

Afraid of an awkward pause in the conversation after you break the news to your date? Try to make light of the situation as best as you can. "I find that most awkward moments are awkward because you are feeling awkward," says LoDolce. You need to feel comfortable.

If you start feeling uncomfortable, LoDolce suggests joking around and making light of the situation. "If you're overly serious about it, it's going to be uncomfortable," he says.

6. Spruce Up Your Online Brand


Woman on a date with an unemployed man

"In the online dating world, your first impression is digitized—and your career is part of that," says Laurie Davis, author of Love at First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating. Most dating profiles have a section to discuss your job. When you're unemployed, avoid listing a hopeful job title or giving a resume rundown. Avoid posting old photos, or mentioning a would-be job or past position because it sets expectations you can't live up to in person. Not to mention, giving your total work history will give the impression that you're trying too hard...and possibly hiding something, she says.

Davis suggests relying on the industry drop-down menus that dating sites offer. If a description can't be avoided, focus on volunteer work or passions. When talking about projects that are gaining momentum, use confident phrasing.

"Your match doesn't need to know the intricacies of your experience in a first impression," Davis explains. Say something like "I'm a management consultant" rather than "I'm trying to start consulting for executives since I did a lot of that in my past job." "Overexplaining isn't confident," she says.

We hope these six tips help you stay confident on the dating scene while you're unemployed! There's so much more to you than your career.

Need more help with your job search?

We'd love it if you signed up for Work It Daily's Event Subscription! Get your career questions answered in our next live event!

This article was originally published at an earlier date.

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6 Tips For Dating While You’re Unemployed

18 Easy Conversation Starters For Networking Events



I think one of the hardest things about networking events is just getting a conversation going with someone—without being awkward about it. Approaching someone new can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be. So, what are some natural and easy ways to break the ice?

Here are some tips and tricks for starting a conversation at a networking event:

Go Fishing At The Food Table


Job seekers network at a conference

While waiting in line for food, start chatting up the person next to you. This is a great opportunity to get a conversation started because you already have something in common: the food. Everyone is thinking about the same thing. What am I going to try? What looks good? So instead of just standing there in silence, start a conversation.

Here are a few conversation starters for this situation:

  • "Oh man, everything looks so good. I'm not sure what to get! What are you thinking?"
  • "Yummy, they have ____! Have you ever tried it?"
  • "Hmm, I'm not quite sure what that dish is...do you know?"
Who knows, you might leave the buffet with a better plate of food AND a new contact! That's a win-win in my book.

Find A Loner


Man networks with a colleague at work

If you see someone standing alone in the corner, clutching his or her drink, and looking miserable, don't be afraid to walk up and introduce yourself. Typically, these people need a little help getting the conversation going.

Here are some icebreakers:

  • "Man, these networking events can be so crazy. Mind if I join you over here where it's a little quieter?"
  • "Wow, there are a ton of people here! The food must be good, huh?"
If someone is standing alone, he or she is probably feeling uncomfortable or unconfident. If you initiate the conversation, it could make them feel more relaxed and willing to connect.

Compliment Them


Woman looks to start a conversation at a networking event

Everyone loves compliments, especially when they are feeling insecure (and many people do feel that way when attending networking events). If you're struggling to start a conversation with someone, find something to compliment.

Here are some ideas:

  • "Yum, that drink looks good. What is it?"
  • "Cute shoes! Where did you get them?"

Talk About Sports


Group of professionals at a networking event

People love talking about sports. If you're a sports person, use it to your advantage!

See someone wearing a Red Sox cap? Say something like, "Red Sox fan, huh? Did you catch the game yesterday?" Overhear a group of people talking about last night's game? Express your interest in the conversation by saying something like, "Are you talking about ____?" and then chime in.

Just Say Hello


Man starts a conversation at a networking event

Sometimes, the easiest way to meet someone is to offer a handshake and say, "Hi, I'm Peter."

Simply introducing yourself with a smile and a dash of confidence can work wonders.

Keeping The Conversation Going


Group of professionals network at a conference

I know what you're thinking. Yes, yes, that's all well and good, but how can I keep the conversation going after the initial question? It's easy! Talk about something else you have in common—the event itself!

Here are some ideas:

  • "I'm Gina, by the way, nice to meet you..."
    • "So, is this your first time at one of these events?"
    • "So, how did you hear about this event?"
    • "What a great place for an event, huh? Have you ever been here before?"

After that, try learning more about them. Questions can include:

  • "Are you from the area"
  • "What line of work are you in or trying to get into?"

Next step: get them talking. Remember, people generally like to talk about themselves. So, once they tell you what they do, ask questions about it. Here are a few:

  • "That's very interesting..."

BONUS: Your Exit Strategy


Professionals smile at a networking event

It's that time: your drink is dry and you're ready to move on. When the conversation starts to wind down, don't try to force more. Remember, you're there to mix and mingle—don't chain yourself to one person all night.

If you'd like to exit a conversation, try one of these lines:

  • "Alright, I'm going to get some food now that the line has died down a bit. It was great meeting you!"
  • "Have you met Lisa She works in your industry as well. I'm sure you both will have plenty to talk about. I've got to say hello to someone, but I'll be back."
  • "Well, I think it's time for me to head out. I would love to talk with you again, though! May I have your card/contact information?"

Remember these conversation starters (and enders) during your next networking event to get the most out of your time there. Happy networking!

Need more help with your career?

We'd love it if you signed up for Work It Daily's Event Subscription! Get your career questions answered in our next live event!

This article was originally published at an earlier date and was inspired by the author's personal experiences and the advice of Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room.

Acquiring Job Advance Your Career Career Changing Careers and Employment Education Internship

18 Easy Conversation Starters For Networking Events